Love Is... (Part 98 - The Letter)

It was near evening when Darryl finally stands up… Kenny walked toward him and gives him a hug…

Kenny: “Feeling better?” Darryl gives a nod to acknowledge the question
Darryl: “How long have you been here?”
Kenny: “For as long as you are here...”
Darryl: “Sorry…”
Kenny: “Don’t be… I just worried about you and want to be when you need me”
Darryl: “Have the police given any update on the autopsy?”
Kenny: “No… Dear, I am thinking maybe you should at least read the letter… It may give some clues to what really happen?”
Darryl: “No… I don’t want to know what happen.”
Kenny: “You know you do and very eager to find out… You just don’t want to face the fact that he has left…”
Darryl: “No… I cannot accept that fact that he lied to me…”
Kenny: “Maybe he didn’t or maybe there is an explanation… That’s why you need to read the letter… You can’t be holding grudge against him when you know nothing about what actually happen? Don’t just assume…”
Darryl: “I am NOT ASSUMING!!! HE LIED!!!”
Kenny: “Is it that important to you now that he lied to you? Is it that important that you are so pissed off that you don’t want to read his letter to find out what he going to say to you? Seriously, what is more important now? Your friend who is already dead or holding grudge…”
Darryl: “I…”
Kenny: “I what? You are always like that… Focusing on the wrong issue… Sometime I don’t even know whether I really know you or not… There is nothing more important that to find out what really goes wrong… But yet you are concentrating on you principle that anyone who lied to you will be hated by you… Seriously are you kidding me with that? Are you are really that angry with him that you are going to hate him for the rest of your life that he lied to you and you will not even consider him as your friend anymore? Are you?”
Darryl: “I…”
Kenny: “You sure you don’t want to read it… I will tear it up and throw it away… No point keeping it when his best friend couldn’t even want to read it… Since you so sure of not reading it because he lied then this letter is totally pointless… I shall tear it up then…”
Darryl: “Wait! Give it to me…”
Kenny: “For what? Oh you are going to tear it yourself…”
Darryl: “No… So are you giving it to me…”
Kenny: “Here you go… Seriously, I wonder why must I always go to this extend in order for you to do something…” Darryl just looked at Kenny as he took the letter over… Darryl was apparently still shaking from the news and his hand was shaking when he take the letter over…

“Read it only when you are ready… I leave you alone while I go get some update from the police…”

Darryl put the letter close this heart and took quite a while before he finally opened up the envelope... He took out the letter slowly afraid of tearing and slowly he took a deep breath… Tears started flowing down again… The pain is just too much for him to handle this alone but he need to do it… He needs to know why Robin lied to him… He needs to know what Robin’s last word is but he is afraid of reading it… He scared he cannot take the truth… He took a deep breath and began to read the letter…

To Darryl,

Sorry for just dropping you a letter just like that… I know at this present moment of time, you are filled with anger of why am I doing this though I have made a promise to you… I know you will not even forgive me…

To be frank, I have been contemplating suicide since Tommy left. I am in fact quite impressive of myself to hang on for so long missing him and going through my days without him… My days go gloomier and gloomier each day without him around but yet I tried my utmost best to keep the thought away… But it was getting unbearable… My life is totally meaningless with him…Can you imagine losing Kenny for the rest of your life especially when you love him so much? You will be as miserable as me… I have nothing left in my life without him around… No colours, no sunshine… Everything just dark and cloudy… I have forgotten how to be happy without pretending… I have forgotten how to enjoy my life without him… I have forgotten how to smile without faking it… I have forgotten how my life has been without him…

Back in Thailand, I was alone… I dismissed the housekeeper because with him around, I remember everything about Tommy and how he is taking care of Tommy… It’s so dreadful… Every corner, every thing in the house reminded me of him…

I once tell myself I will be able to live on without him… I did tell myself that I am going to pull through the days without him around me but it is so hard to do so… No matter how much I tell myself to let go, it just doesn’t work…It just totally useless and it make me even more depressed…

I did try but I failed… Sorry… I really didn’t mean to hurt you but I really cannot take it… I do understand that I have promise you about this and I really didn’t mean to lie…

I have long planned this trip to be my last… I trying to make full use of this trip to visit every place I can remember being with him but most importantly to see you for one last time… And I did not even booked the flight back as I know I will not be going back anymore…

Please don’t be angry with me for doing this… I am at a better place now by the time you read this letter…

I know that no matter how many sorry I say will not make up to you in any way but I just want you to know this… I have never been so relief to know that finally I can go and find Tommy and be unite with him again… I saw him and I saw him very clearly this time and he is waiting for me... He is reaching out for me… And I know I will be with him…

Goodbye My Friend and I’m sorry. Please don’t be sad for me as you know being with him is where I really belong…

Love,
Robin

Darryl put the letter down and look at the cars moving passed him… He is now lost in the word of Robin…

“He has planned this all along… He has planned this all along…” Darryl spoke to himself… A hand reached out to him… He looked up and it’s Kelvin…

Kelvin: “Hey bro… I’m sorry about your lost…”
Darryl: “How do u…”
Kelvin: “Kenny called me while he is at there waiting for the result of the autopsy… He is worried about you so he called me here…”
Darryl: “Thanks for coming…”
Kelvin: “Don’t say that… So… you ok?”
Darryl: “I don’t think I can answer that… I just confused about how I am feeling…”
Kelvin: “Want to talk about it or…”
Darryl: “No… I just need to figure it out myself…” Kelvin hold on to Darryl hand and Darryl just lean on Kelvin shoulder…
Kelvin: “Let it out… Cry if you need to… Don’t hold back… Don’t hold back…”
Darryl: “I… I…” And tears just flow down onto his cheeks… “He asked me not to be sad for him…”
Kelvin: “And I know it is hard for you so just let it out… You will feel better…” And Darryl broke down again….

They just sat there till night fall…

To be continue…

Love Is... (Part 97 - Robin Finale)

Darryl woke up the next morning to get ready for work and was in the shower when Kenny went in to join him as they are literally late for work after spending the night with Robin before he head back to Bangkok.

They were rushing to get ready for work and was in a relatively good mood because of the new beginning of a brand new year…

Darryl: “How times flied… It already the beginning of a brand new year…”
Kenny: “Yes, Dear… It was quite a rollercoaster ride for the whole of last year…”
Darryl: “Totally agreed… Any new year’s resolution?”
Kenny: “It not so much of a resolution because I never fulfilled most of them as it kind of pointless to make up something and just not fulfilling it… Hahaha… More of New Year wish to have all my friends stay healthy and happy… Of course not the mention to love my partner more everyday and make this relationship last forever… So what about you?”
Darryl: “Erm… I am hoping to have a child by the end of the year and also maybe go travelling more often… So you better work harder and give me a child by end of the year…”
Kenny: “Erm… I don’t think I can do that no matter how hard I try… Can give you a pet instead? Hahaha…”
Darryl: “Hahaha… I know you will not be able to fulfill it so I already have an alternative plan…”
Kenny: “Alternative plan?”
Darryl: “Yes, by the end of the year, if you still cannot bear me any child, I will leave you…”
Kenny: “Ya ya… As if you will…”
Darryl: “Yes I will… “ Darryl look seriously at Kenny to tell him that he is not lying…
Kenny: “You really mean it…” Kenny give Darryl a worried look…
Darryl: “Of course…”
Kenny: “Then you better go now… Because I will never be able to make it… Bye” Kenny picked up his stuff and walk away…
Darryl: “Wei… Where you going?”
Kenny: “Leave here before you leave me…”
Darryl: “Don’t go… Don’t go… I am just kidding” Darryl grabs on to Kenny’s hand but Kenny shook it off…
Kenny: “I already know how you feel about me and I don’t want to disappoint you… So it best this way…”
Darryl: “I am just kidding la… You can’t be serious about this, right? I know who you are and what you have so how can I expect you to bear me child… Don’t go… Can?”
Kenny: “Erm… If you still don’t let go, I will seriously be late at work… hahaha”
Darryl: “Evil!!! You… “
Kenny: “Who ask you to ask such thing from me knowing it is impossible for me to do it…”
Darryl: “Hahaha… It just meant to be a prank ma… It’s New Year so lighten up…”
Kenny: “I know that why I retaliate…”
Darryl: “You… “
Kenny: “Can we go now? We are really going to be late if you still don’t want to get change…”
Darryl: “Hahaha… OK OK… I very fast one…”

*Ding Dong*

Darryl: “Is it the doorbell?”
Kenny: “Yes… But are we expecting anybody this early?”
Darryl: “No… Maybe is Robin… Guess he may have missed his flight…”
Kenny: “Hahaha… Maybe… I go get it and please get change now…”
Darryl: “Ok… Be done in 5 minute”

Darryl was changing halfway when Kenny walked into the room…

“Dear… Follow me…”

“Dear, anything wrong…” Darryl said as he approached the door… He saw 2 policemen standing there….

“Dear, what is wrong? What is wrong? Why are there 2 policemen at our door?”

“Dear, you calm down first and listen to them…”

“No… No… Ask them to go away… I don’t want to listen… I don’t want to listen…” Darryl just turned away and walked back into the room… He locked the door and refused to open it… No matter how Kenny persuaded him, he just refused to open the door. He refused to talk to anyone else and hear anything from anyone…

It was near noon when Darryl finally opened the door. Kenny walked up to him and the policemen were still at the living room… Darryl walked towards them…

“Where is he now?” The police was trying to tell him but Darryl spoke again “I do not want to hear anything else, just tell me where is he now?”

“He is at SGH… We are here to bring you there…” Darryl and Kenny follow the police to the hospital. They were escort to the ward and in the ward laid a body... Darryl and Kenny walked into the ward… Darryl’s hand was shaking when he tried to lift up the white sheet… He was hoping it was not him… It just not him… But it was Robin’s… It really is Robin…

“NO!!!!!!!...” Darryl shouted and broke down… “You LIAR!!! LIAR!!! YOU PROMISE ME!!! YOU LIED TO ME!!!! YOU LIED!!! You lied…” Kenny hold on to Darryl tightly and trying to calm him down… “Why are you doing this? You promise me… You promise me… You promise Tommy… You liar!!! LIAR!!!!....” Kenny just hold on to Darryl tightly to prevent him from causing hurt to himself… One of the police walked in and tried to talk to them but Kenny stopped him in order to let Darryl calm down first… The police get the hint and walked out and waited at the door…

Darryl dried up his tears and walked out of the door. Kenny followed closely behind… Darryl approached the police… Kenny can sense the hostility in the environment and he just doesn’t want Darryl to do anything silly…

Darryl stood there without saying a word. The police handed him a letter in his name and he took it over from the police and handed it to Kenny…

“Keep this… I don’t want to know what this liar has written…” Then he turns back to the police… “So what you want to tell me?”

“I’m Sergeant Steven. The hotel staff found him unconscious after numerous attempts to the room for his morning call. Paramedics were being call in but was already too late… He was pronounced dead on the spot and police were then call in… We will need to do an autopsy on him later to determine the nature of his death… We are really sorry with the loss of your friend.”

“What time when the hotel staff actually found him?”

“It was approximately 5am as he requested a morning call at 330am but no answer so the hotel staff called him almost every 15minute and the staff that found him worry that something was amiss thus he went up to look for him but…. Accordingly to the staff, Mr Robin requested quite a fair bit of liquor to be send to his room approximately 1am in the morning saying that he has a dear friend with him and wanted to celebrate a new beginning with him… but when the liquor was delivered, they saw no one but Mr Robin in the room…”

“1am?”

“Yup… but the staff saw nobody in the room except for Mr Robin… In fact, the letter that I just handed to you was by his side… So I guess you should at least read it…”

“I don’t know… I don’t think I can take the lies anymore…”

“Take it easy… And I’m really sorry about your lost…”

“You can never imagine what I am going through now… Because I myself don’t know what am I feeling right now…”

“I will update you on the autopsy report later the day… We are still trying to contact his family member but till now still no news yet… So I was wondering whether you can assist us in doing so…”

“I will try…”

“Thanks…” The police then walk away…

Kenny: “Dear…”
Darryl: ‘Why is he doing this? Why?”
Kenny: “Maybe you should read the letter…”
Darryl: “I don’t know… I am trying to control…”
Kenny: “Don’t control… What is there to control?”
Darryl: “I don’t know… I really don’t know…”
Kenny: “Then find out… He is your best friend… I am sure he has his reason…”
Darryl: “He is not my friend… My friend will not put me through such pain… My friend will not break his promise to me… My friend will not hurt me like that… He promises me!!! He promises last night that he will not do anything silly… He did and looked at him now… He broke his promise… He broke it!!!... “
Kenny: “OK… Calm down…”
Darryl: “My friend will not do this to me… My friend will not… “
Kenny: “Shhhh…. Just let it out… Just let your emotion out… I understand how you feel”
Darryl: “You don’t understand and you never will… I don’t even know myself… I don’t even know myself…”

Darryl pushed Kenny away and ran out of the hospital without looking back… Kenny ran after him till Darryl come to a complete stop… Darryl squatted down and started crying…

To be continue…