Darryl & Kenny (Part 17 - Mum 3)

For the next few days, everything seem alright and with the thought that Mum is fully accepting both of them together… It was kind of a relieve yet at the same time strange. It a total mash up feeling… Happy, Worry, Uncomfortable… Darryl was lying in the bed thinking about all these when he heard…

“Ah boy… Are you awake?”

“Yes Mum… I am just resting…”

“Ah boy, actually mummy…. erm… I want…. Erm…”

“Yes Mummy… Just say ba….”

“I just wanted to talk to you about Kenny….”

“OK… I kinda expected… We shall talk about it then… Where shall I start…”

Darryl sat his mother down and starts telling her about Kenny and how they are made for each other… The thing and bond they share, the love they have for each other and how Kenny had been there for him during the lowest point of his life… It was an emotion coming session for both Darryl and his mum… Darryl was in tears going through everything and opening up to his mum…

Mum: “Ah boy… I…..”
Darryl: “What?”
Mum: “Is this what you really want… To be gay and not thinking of marrying a girl…”
Darryl: “Mum, I’m sorry… I can’t give u a daughter in law or grandchildren… This is who I really am… I can’t think of anybody I want to spend my life with beside Kenny…”
Mum: “Maybe you just haven’t found a girl that will make you feel the same…”
Darryl: “I know this is got to be hard for you to accept but I just can’t change who I am…”
Mum: “Yes… It is hard… And I been trying to find out what is going on with you and Kenny for the longest period of time u can ever imagine… I keep telling myself that you guys are just 2 close friends staying together… But I know it not just that simple… I keep telling myself it is… I even tested Kenny about it… And he admitted it… My heart just sanked to the bottom of the sea… but I tell myself to be calm… because maybe Kenny is just playing a trick on me… Maybe both of you are just playing a prank on me… I Just hope that this is just a dream… Tell me this is not true… You are just kidding me..”
Darryl: “I am sorry… Mum… I too don’t want to not talk about this… I too wanted to lied to you that we are just friends but I choose not to… because it will be unfair for everyone… I will be forever living in a lie I myself created and this is unfair to everyone…”
Mum: “But have you think about me and your father… Have you think how you have just crashed our dream of having you getting married and having children? Have you? Why Boy? Why? Why don’t you just lie to me? At least I still have some hope that you are not gay…? Why?”
Darryl: “Because… I cannot do it… I don’t want to give you false hope… I don’t want to give you hope that I know will never ever happen… Plus I love Kenny… And I need to be fair to him…”
Mum: “Then WHAT ABOUT US? WHAT ABOUT YOUR FAMILY? YOU ACCEPTED THAT YOU ARE GAY! BUT WHAT ABOUT US? WHAT ABOUT US?”
Darryl: “I’m sorry….I really am… I don’t know what else I can say or do now… But I’m sorry…”
Mum: “How about leaving Kenny or maybe start going to know some girls etc or maybe counseling?”
Darryl: “This is not a game or an option that I can change who I really am… So what if u force to get married, will I be happy? So what if I give you grandchildren, will I be happy? Will I be faithful to my wife? Will I be a good dad to my children? Will I?”
Mum: “How would u know if you don’t try?”
Darryl: “Because I know… And I am very sure who I am… I only love men; I only like having sex with men… And this is something I can never change… And I do not want to try because I know it will be unfair to whoever I am trying with… I have found my soul mate and the person that I love… I’m not asking for your blessing as I know it will never happen but I just hope you respect my decision... I’m sorry”
Mum: “How can you say that? Since when this is your decision… Are you going to tell your father? Do you dare to tell your father?”
Darryl: “I will… And it’s going to be the same as what I told you… You are still my mum and he is still my father no matter who I am or in your term what I am… But whether you treat me as your son will be a different story…”
Mum: “I’m going to call your dad now…”
Darryl: “What are you doing this to me…?”
Mum: “Then why are you doing this to me? I just cannot accept my son is GAY!”
Darryl: “You have to… Cos I am gay and am happily attached to a guy named Kenny for the past few years…”
Mum: “Tell this to your dad… And you will know that I am more than lenient to you… He is on the phone…”
Darryl: “Dad…..”

Darryl came out to his dad over the phone and surprisingly, his dad was not angry or sad at all… Instead on the other side of the phone, it just laughter….

Darryl: “Hello, Dad… Hello….”
Dad: “Hahahahahhaha…..”
Darryl :”Dad… Did you hear me?”
Dad: “Hahahahaha…. Yes I did…”
Darryl: “Then why…..”
Dad: “Because i don’t know how to react besides laughing it out…”
Darryl: “Dad, this is not a joke… I am serious…”
Dad: “I know… And I am too… I know you must be thinking why am I laughing…”
Darryl: “Ya… Why?”
Dad: “Because it really a sign of relief for me…”
Darryl: “Huh?”
Dad: “Yes… A sign of relief… You never know how hard it is to keep question about whether you are or you are not… The thought of it is killing me… but yet I do not want to question you as i don’t want to stress you… I knew something is not right about you and Kenny but I choose to not ask or think about it… now that you finally say it out yourself, it just so much easier…”
Darryl: “But Mum…”
Dad: “Step away from your mum so that I can talk to you alone…”

Darryl turns to his mum and told her that dad want to talk alone… Mum let out a sneer… Darryl walk away…

Darryl: “Dad, I am away from mum now…”
Dad: “Boy, I can’t say that I am not disappointed with you choosing to tell me over the phone… I rather have a heart to heart talk with you than this conversation and I am surprised you tell your mum first than me…I am really disappointed in you…”
Darryl: “Dad… I….”
Dad: “Boy, like I say I am disappointed and it is kind of shocking to finally know the truth but yet it also a relief to know that there is finally no secret between you and me though I still want to know why over the phone…”
Darryl: “Mum asked me to…”
Dad: “And why her over me?”
Darryl: “Mum say wanted to talk about it but she freak out after I tell her…”
Dad: “See… You made a wrong choice…”
Darryl: “Dad, Mum said you going to disown me if you know the truth… I don’t want to tell u like that but mum just call you…”
Dad: “Did she say that? Hmmmm… I didn’t even know I am going to disown you… What good does it do me?”
Darryl: “I don’t know but mum said u will…”
Dad: “It never going to be easy to have a gay son and I don’t know how I am going to get use to it but it is so much better to know the truth now then to know it later after you got married or have grandchildren then come blaming us saying that we forced you to get married and you have never been since then… I don’t want to be blame during my dying days for all these…”
Darryl: “Are you sure you are ok with this?”
Dad: “No… But I will try… because you are my son…”
Darryl: “Don’t need to cater for me… Just do what you feel is comfortable… I am still your son no matter how you treat me... I promise you…”
Dad: “Silly boy… Of course you are my son…”

All these love and understanding from his dad is felt so deeply by Darryl… Emotion went wild, tears flow down Darryl cheeks…

“I’m sorry… Dad… I’m sorry…”