C.O.F.F.E.E

He met her at a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him.

At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised but due to being polite, she promised.

They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, and she thought to herself, "Please, let me go home..."

Suddenly he asked the waiter, "Would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee."

Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it.

She asked him curiously, "Why you have this hobby?"

He replied, "When I was a little boy, I lived near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there."

While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home...

Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family.That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!

Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince, and then they were living the happy life... And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked it.

After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said,

"My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life's lie. This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt.

It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything...

Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth, I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste... But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life!

Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again."

Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her, "What's the taste of salty coffee?" She replied, "It's sweet."

Love Is... (Part 4)

17 April 2002

Finally the day of the trip has arrived... It was just like yesterday when both of them decided to go on trip together... Kenny slept over on the night before as they have to reach the airport 2 hours before the flight at 8am...

It was 615 when they reached the airport for check in. It was quite early yet the airport was full of people. Guess most people like themselves want to be on the earliest flight to ensure the day is being made used of fully... :P

After all the checking in at the counter and stuff, both of them went to have their breakfast at the nearby Burger King. Kenny apparently was very excited about the trip as he did not really sleep the night before...

They ordered their breakfast and while munching away... Kenny said

"This is so exciting.. My very 1st trip out of Singapore.."
Darryl: "Where got 1st trip? You been to Malaysia before right.."

Kenny: "I mean my first time on a aeroplane... Malaysia by car so don't count..."

Darryl: "Like that also can..."

Kenny: "Of course..."

Darryl: "That why you didn't sleep last night..."

Kenny: "Hehe..."

Actually, Darryl was happy that Kenny was looking forward for this trip.. As much as they have been friends for years, they never really thinking of making a trip together only until today. Darryl was also excited about it and he hoped that they will have a great time together.

As time approached closer, the excitment of Kenny grew as well... He was having a time of his life in the airport running around like a 3 year old... So hyperactive...

Boarded the plane and in less than 2 hours time, we will reach Bangkok...

Darryl was trying to get some sleep while on plane, when he felt Kenny holding on to his hand tightly... He look at Kenny and find him sweating... This is the first time, Darryl see Kenny in this state.

Darryl: "Are you Ok?"

Kenny: "I... I... I..."

Darryl: "What is it?"

Kenny: "I'm scared..."

Darryl: "Don't worry... We will be fine... Just relaxed and enjoy the flight. Just leave your seatbelt on and relax ok..."

Kenny: "But... But..."

Darryl: "It ok.. It your first time on plane so somehow u will feel uneasy when the plane take off but don't worry alright..." Seeing that Kenny is still scared, Darryl hold on to his hand tightly and said... "I will be here with you, k"

To be frank, this is the longest 2 hours flight that Darryl had.. During the flight, Darryl did not relax his hand from Kenny... Seeing Kenny like this, Darryl was kind of being affected as well... Tension just build up between them and Darryl can feel Kenny holding to his hand tighter and tighter as during the flight... Everything become so intense...

But the best part is once the captain announced that we have reached Thailand, he sprung back to life... Darryl looked at Kenny in disbelief and wonder who is this person beside him...

Kenny: "Bro, faster faster..."

Darryl: "Then you go, Kenny's back... Hmmm what happen to the guy sitting next to me holding to my hand telling me he is scared..."

Kenny: "Don't like that... A bit shy now... Maybe i got phobia lei..."

Darryl: "Wah, now u can say it out so loud... How come never inform me earlier?"

Kenny: "How i know? I just get the tensed up when on the plane... Plus i never been on a plane before so... Sorry la..."

Darryl: "Not about sorry , I just curious only.. 1 minute ago, you are scared like a baby.. 1 minute later, u are full of energy... Maybe should send you to lab for some testing..." Both of us laughed and proceed to officially arrive at Bangkok through the custom..

They were picked by the the tour guide from the Bangkok counterpart and send to the hotel.., Once checked in, their Bangkok trip has finally begun... it going to be a fun filled 4 days trip for the both of them... Hopefully... :P

To be continue....

Love Is Doing e Right Thing @ e Right Time

There was once a guy who suffered from cancer... a cancer that can't be treated. He was 18 years old and he could die anytime. All his life, he was stuck in his house being taken cared by his mother. He never went outside but he was sick of staying home and wanted to go out for once.

So he asked his mother and she gave him permission. He walked down his block and found a lot of stores. He passed a CD store and looked through the front door for a second as he walked. He stopped and went back to look into the store. He saw a young girl about his age and he knew it was love at first sight.

He opened the door and walked in, not looking at anything else but her. He walked closer and closer until he was finally at the front desk where she sat. She looked up and asked, "Can I help you?" She smiled and he thought it was the most beautiful smile he has ever seen before and wanted to kiss her right there.

He said "Uh... Yeah... Umm... I would like to buy a CD." He picked one out and gave her money for it. "Would you like me to wrap it for you?" she asked, smiling her cute smile again. He nodded and she went to the back. She came back with the wrapped CD and gave it to him. He took it and walked out of the store. He went home and from then on, he went to that store everyday and bought a CD, and she wrapped it for him. He took the CD home and put it in his closet. He was still too shy to ask her out and he really wanted to but he couldn't. His mother found out about this and told him to just ask her.

So the next day, he took all his courage and went to the store. He bought a CD like he did everyday and once again she went to the back of the store and came back with it wrapped. He took it and when she wasn't looking, he left his phone number on the desk and ran out... !!!

RRRRRING!!!

The mother picked up the phone and said, "Hello?" It was the girl!!! She asked for the boy and the mother started to cry and said, "You don't know? He passed away yesterday..." The line was quiet except for the cries of the boy's mother.

Later in the day. The mother went into the boy's room because she wanted to remember him. She thought she would start by looking at his clothes. So she opened the closet. She was face to face with piles and piles and piles of unopened CDs. She was surprised to find all those CDs and she picked one up and sat down on the bed and she started to open one.

Inside, there was a CD and as she took it out of the wrapper, out fell a piece of paper. The mother picked it up and started to read it.

It said: Hi... I think U R really cute. Do u wanna go out with me? Love, Jacelyn

The mother opened another CD... Again there was a piece of paper.

It said: Hi... I think U R really cute. Do u wanna go out with me? Love, Jacelyn

Love is... doing the right thing at the right time... Don't wait to say, "I Love You"

PS I LOVE U

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him.

Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl

“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.
Jin: "I can't"
Me: “Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment grabbing me.
Jin: “No I am going to meet a friend”

He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word "love" only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say "I love you" before. To us, there weren't any anniversaries at all. He didn't say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days, 200days... Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don't know why. Then one day...

Me: Um, Jin, I...
Jin: What? Don’t drag, just say.
Me: I love you.
Jin: you...um, just take this doll and go home.

That was how he ignored my three words and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many...

Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But ...lunch passed, dinner passed...and soon the sky was dark he still didn't call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.

Me: Jin...
Jin: Here...take this... (Again, he handed me a little doll)
Me: What's this?
Jin: I didn't give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I'm going home now, bye.
Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
Jin: Today? Huh?

I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen. Then I shouted... "Wait..."

Jin: You have something to say?
Me: Tell me, tell me you love me...
Jin: What?!
Me: Tell me

I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left. "I don't want to say that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else." That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb...and I collapsed to the ground.

He didn't want to say it easily... How could he!. I felt that... Maybe he is not the right guy for me... After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn't call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That's how those dolls piled up in my room... everyday After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that... I saw him on a street...with another girl... He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me...as he touched the doll...

I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell... Why did he gave these to me?? Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him that it's going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.

Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came? I couldn't help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual
Me: I don't need it.
Jin: What? why? I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
Me: I don't need this doll, I don't need it anymore!! I don't want to see a person like you again! I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.

"I'm sorry..." He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll...

Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!! But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then...

Honk~ Honk~ With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.

"Jin! Move! Move away!" I shouted....

But he didn't hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll. "Jin, move!" HONK~!! *Boom!*

That sound, so terrifying. That's how he went away from me. That's how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me. After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him and after spending two months like a crazy person I took out the dolls. Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out.

I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days- when we were in love.. "One...two... three..." That was how I started to count the dolls... "Four hundred and eighty four... four hundred and eighty five..." It all ended with 485 dolls. I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly, then suddenly...

"I love you~, I love you~" I dropped the dolls, shocked. "I...lo..ve..you??" I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach. "I love you~ I love you~" It can’t be! I pressed all the dolls' stomach as it piled on the side. "I love you~" "I love you~" "I love you~" Those words came out non-stop. "I love you~" Why didn't I realize that? That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn't I realize that he loves me this much...


I took out the doll under the bed and pressed its stomach that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the one that I was missing so much....

"Jo...Do you know what today is? We've been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn't say I love you..... Um... since I was too shy. If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you.. everyday...till I die.. Jo... I love you!"

The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can't be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute for that.. and for that reason... to me..... it became courage... to live a beautiful life...

Moral of the story : Treasure your love or you will regret later in your life forever.

Love Is... (Part 3)

04 April 2002

Very soon today is the last day of reservist… Nothing major happen during this period except for the facts that Darryl and Kenny have spent the most time they ever spend together. The bond had grown stronger as each day go by. To think back on the past weeks, both of them seem to have reached another level of friendship besides just being childhood good friend. Something more but yet Darryl still cannot really make out to what was it…

He was deep in thought thinking will next year reservist still be the same with Kenny around and when will be the next time that the 2 of them ever spend so much time together..

Just when Darryl was deep in thought, a tap on the shoulder bring him back to reality… It was Kenny.

Kenny: “Hey, I am actually thinking away for a short trip in May. So I wonder whether you would like to accompany me for this trip.”
Darryl: “Where you have in mind?”
Kenny: “Am thinking of either Hong Kong or Bangkok or maybe Taiwan because I never really taken a trip outside Malaysia.”
Darryl: “Bangkok? Cheap and Good”
Kenny: “Was thinking of that too. Hmmm Great mind think alike.”
Darryl: “Ya ya… So we go later after book out to check on the schedule.”
Kenny: “Not apply leave first meh.”
Darryl: “Book ticket liao then apply leave. Like that die die must go de. Understand?”
Kenny: “Wah… U very good lei… But where can we go to check the ticket.”
Darryl: “Chinatown got quite a fair bit of agencies. Just need to compare a few then can decide already”
Kenny: “Set! See u later. I go return my barang and then can leave already.”
Darryl: “We go back to get the car first, k?”
Kenny: “No problem… See u later.”

Actually deep down inside Darryl, he don’t really want to go to Bangkok as he have been there too many time already but since Kenny never went before so it only right to go somewhere cheaper, he think to himself.

So both of them proceed as planned, they arrived at Darryl’s house to pick up the car and then travel to Chinatown for the quotation. It was actually quite enjoyable for both of them to do stuff like that together. Actually the decision was made very fast and impromptu with not much consideration because it is a free n easy trip and so cheapest will be the one they booked.

After confirming the trip, they went for dinner at a famous Fish Head Bee Hoon restaurant at Kwong Saik Street. They had a jolly time and planning for their trip which is happening in just 2 weeks time.

Well, Darryl is hoping that the day comes really fast because this is the very first time he is going overseas with Kenny…

To be continued…

"I DO...."

I have been thinking whether or not to write this out but then after discussing with the person involved.. I finally get the go ahead.. It the most beautiful things i can say happen to me so far... I am not directly involve in the process of planning but then i am just proud to witness it then...

21 November 2008

It was a nice friday morning where me and a group of friends goes out to Sentosa for a beach outing... It was a planned trip by a friend of mine (Dexter). None of us know what we are in for because this outing seems so secretive.. So thinking that it was just an ordinary outing, we just go and have fun...

But then it was the most beautiful outing ever...


When we reached Sentosa, we noticed that Dexter seems to get very nervous and uncomfortable... Seems like estastic but yet nervous... Happy yet not really happy... I asked him what is going on.. But he keep saying nothing... But the sensitive part of me tell me something not right. Anyway the day goes as per normal, we played beach volleyball and suntan... (yes i got a new tan :P... Look good man!)

Half way through the volleyball game, Dexter asked all of us to gather around and tell us the big news... "I am going to propose to Angeline when she arrived... But i need your help..."

All of us were like "WHAT!!!" Dexter said he need our help because later he is going to pick her up from Vivo City but worry things cannot be set up properly. I was liked "Why tell us only now. We are all sweaty and half naked..." How romantic can this be right? Totally speechless...


Dexter assure us that he had all planned out and just need our cooperation only... Being friends, we can only support him right... Eventhough something else come into our mind lar :P

So Dexter brief us on what to do... Me and another friend (Don) was tasked to get a bouquet of flowers for him. So given the limited time, both of us immediately set off to get the bouquet... Given only 1 hour to do so, both of us were rather panicky maybe because we really do not know what kind of bouquet is good for proposal... But then after going through numerous different bouquet, both of us decided to make things special by mixing and matching the flower by our own... The end result was really nice. (We are so panicky that we totally forget to take picture of our masterpiece...)

While we are driving into Sentosa again, Dexter called saying that Angeline just reach Vivo... We assured him that we already on our way in so she definitely did not see us...

Everything happen so fast... The moment we reach by the seaside, Dexter texted us telling us that they are on their way in... So position ready... But all of us were kind of worry cos we wonder how Angeline will take it... hmmmm... *Imagination run wild*

Immediately all of us dispersed out and continue the activity except for me and Don who is supposed to be at a distance away from them... so they will not notice the bouquet.. But seriously, it is so weird to hold on the the bouquet with Don next to me... Everyone were staring at us... And it kind of embarrassing so i asked Don to carry it... Of course he refused... And he can even say "Let just make them think you are my lover ok..." *Faintz*

Lucky the sms from one of the guy came kind of fast... As we approached them, Dexter and Angeline was facing the sea taking picture by the guys... Somehow or rather, Dexter managed to get Angeline closing her eyes when he approached... So we passed the flower to him and also the ring... A song was played from our proud Ipod... (he even got it ready)

"Whenever I’m weary from the battles that rage in my head
You make sense of madness when my sanity hangs by a thread
I lose my way but still you seem to understand
Now & forever
I will be your man...."

When the song played, Angeline eyes opened... Dexter was on his knee with the flower and ring... And then he said..

"I believe that True Love only comes once in life
I am sure mine has arrived
I may not be the perfect guy from your utmost criteria
But i am sure I will love you till the end of my life
Nothing mean more to me than spending the rest of my life with you
Now and Forever, I will be your man...
Angeline, will you marry me..."

Tears were flowing down Angeline'e eyes.... And she say... "Yes I Do"

L.O.V.E

This is a touching story from a email i received today from a colleague... Most of you may have already read it but i just think that is nice to share it here again...

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.


The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.' Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny,are you sure I don't have enough money?''The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.''I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'''OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.'

I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose. My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state.

The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body o f the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever..

The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Love Is... (Part 2)

22 March 2002

Today was Darryl 1st in camp reservist since ORD. Was feeling kind of worry on who his reservist mate will be. While he was driving to his camp in Changi, he wondered deeply whether he will see any of his platoon mates.

When he arrived in the camp, he saw lot and lot of familiar faces and that put him at ease. All his previous worry about not getting along with his reservist mates was all gone.

But someone in the group caught his eyes… Everything about him was so familiar…

“OMG!!!!.... Kenny!” Darryl shouted. It was Kenny.

Kenny still looking in daze trying to search where does the voice come from… Darryl slowly walked toward him and waving at Kenny.

Kenny: “Yo, what are you doing here?”
Darryl: “Holiday… Taking a relaxation retreat… hahaha”
Kenny: “But why are you here?”
Darryl: “Here for reservist. I was from this camp. I should be asking you why you are here.”
Kenny: “Got arrow… Was suppose to go Maju camp for reservist but then now come to Changi… Damn far.”
Darryl: “How long will u be here?”
Kenny: “Till 4 April.”
Darryl: “So u gonna be here during my whole reservist.”
Kenny: “Guess so.”
Darryl: “Then u got nothing to worry already. I pick u up every morning and book in together”
Kenny: “Really?”
Darryl: “When I lied to you?”
Kenny: “Thank you very much.”
Darryl: “Provided they allow me to book out”
Kenny: “OK, OK keep me updated…”
Darryl: “See you during lunch at cookhouse.”

Darryl proceeded to complete his book in process and was feeling very happy that Kenny is here with him for reservist. Not sure whether its the happy mood that Kenny is here or time flies by really fast. It already lunch time.

Kenny was already waiting at the cookhouse when Darryl arrived.

Darryl: “Sorry for being late.”
Kenny: “It ok. They were serving chicken rice today. Look good though”
Darryl: “Let go. Really hungry.”
Kenny: “Bro, I have requested to stay in lei because really very far to go home”
Darryl: “Oh ya. Just want to tell you this also.. Apparently I am going to stay in also, so tonight will be going home to drop the car and get more clothes”
Kenny: “I need to do that too. Can i…”
Darryl: “No problem.”

Everything happened very fast on that day…

Darryl was driving when Kenny take a nap when on the way back…

Darryl: “Hey, wake up… I drop you off first then pick you up later for dinner”
Kenny: “No need so troublesome. Just give me 15 min. I go pick up my stuff then we go over to your place”
Darryl: “Sure.”

So they are back at Darryl’s house.

To be continue…..

Love Is..... (Part 1)

This is a story about a 30 year old young man called Darryl. He leads a simple yet discipline life. Everything seems to be doing well for him. He enjoys what he doing in work and life. But yet deep down inside him, he knows that something is missing in his life which he is still searching for…

1 January 2000

The clock just past midnight, Darryl was sitting in his office celebrating his New Year Day alone due to the infamous “Y2K”.

“Happy New Year”, He said to himself while staring blankly out the window thinking that this was the worst New Year of his life. Just then his mobile rang…

“Happy New Year… Dear” Darryl smiled after hearing this familiar voice. It was his childhood friend, Kenny. The first and only greeting that Darryl received on this lonely night in office

Kenny: “How are you hanging over there?”
Darryl: “Fantastic…”
Kenny: “You sure or not?”
Darryl: “Hello, it's New Year Day… I am in office while you are having fun. How fantastic can it be?”
Kenny: “Hey at least I still remember you.”
Darryl: “OK… Thanks”

They chatted for a while before hanging up… Darryl continued with his work but shortly after, his mobile phone rang. It’s Kenny again.

Darryl: “Hey, you forget to tell me something?”
Kenny: “How you know? Anyway, just want to ask you to come out of your office for a while”
Darryl: “You know I can’t, right”
Kenny: “Just come to the main entrance… Bye”
Darryl: “Hey…..” Phone got hung up

Darryl walked to the main entrance and there was no one there… “He must be playing prank on me again…” Darryl said to himself

He turned around and heard the door knocked… He turned around and saw Kenny standing at the entrance… He smiled…

Kenny came to celebrate the New Year with him… It was a sweet gesture… and they have a great time eating and chatting

Morale - People come and go… So does friends… You can have lots of friends in life... Just one close friend can make a very significant difference in your life….

To be continued…

Back to Work

Today is the first day of me returning to work after a week long break...

Office is so empty after the departure of 10 colleagues and also guess it's the year end so many of colleagues are clearing their respective leave... Wonder what next for my career...

It's kind of a worrying trend at this particular moment for people in the banking industry with so many retrenchment exercise going... Guess one will never know what is going to happen next... Worry Worry.... :(

When i first started this blog, i was always wondering how i want to present the blog to the world (in case some of you out there are reading it.. :P)

Then last night, an idea come into my mind when i was browsing through MPH bookstore before my gym.... A STORY...

Yes... I going to present my blog as a story of a young man... How i see the world and life will be through this story.

So do stay till for my first installment of the story coming up soon..

On and off through the story, i will also give update of my current life etc...

That all for now....

Cheers

To Grandma

Was listening to this song by Christina Aguilera "Hurt" and somehow it bring up an emotional of me that i just feel that i should write about

Dear Grandma

"Seems like it was yesterday that i saw your face
You told me how proud you were but i walked away
If only i knew what i knew today...
I would hold you in my arm
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgiving my mistakes...
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there"

You have always been the pillar in my life, teaching me everything through your life and being there for me everytime i need you the most... Sorry for not being a good grandson to you and sorry for being able to make it in time to see you 1 last time... Sorry for making you worry and not visiting you as much as i can... Now that you have gone... I miss you so much... A picture of you is always in my room reminding me of you and the things that you have done for me... I love you Grandma and i always will... Nothing mean more to me than to see you again... I really hope that i can be by your side more often then... Sorry for not being there... GRANDMA!!!

I remember clearly your teachings and the things you have told me... I am who i am today because of your teaching. I am who i am because of your forgiveness... When i was rebellious, you never hesitate to keep me in my line... You never once scolded me, or hit me once... You have love me unconditionally and selflessly to let me learn what i did in the past was wrong..But yet i was so stupid to see it...

I still remember clearly when i was doing my final before my PSLE, i was so angry with mum and dad that i purposely failed all my subjects... But instead of scolding me, you tell me this

"This is your life you are talking about.. Mum and Dad give birth to you but they will not be with you for the rest of your life... You need to do what is right for you... Nobody can help you walk your life except you..." And because of this, i understand I need to do it for myself and not for Mum and Dad... I understand that there is only so much Mum and Dad can do for me and i have to make it work myself...

You have always been supportive in every single decision or direction that i have made... Eventhough it may be a wrong one but then you never say "NO" to me because you know that making mistakes is part and parcel of life and i will grow wiser with every mistakes that i made.
I guess i am just to stubborn to realise it...

When you are in hospital fighting for your life, i was at reservist... When the phone rang, I picked up and hear the hospital telling me that you are in critical condition... I immediately try to rush out of camp as soon as i can.

But just as i got on the cab, they called again... Telling me, you have left... I do not know how to react, tears just flowed... The moment the cab arrived at the hospital, I just went bersek...

I ran and ran and ran hoping that you will wait for me... Hoping that i can hold your hand and see you one last time and be there for you... The first person i saw when i come out of the lift is Ah Bao... I saw him crying and telling me you have really gone... I still cannot believe it myself... I shouted I want to see you... You will not leave me like this... You will NOT DO THIS TO ME!

When Ah Bao was leading me to you, I saw Mum, Dad, Sisters and everyone else crying... Then I realised you have really left me... Everything happen too fast for me... You are gone... I hold on to your luke warm hand, and just break down uncontrollably...

Just like the song, you always tell me how proud you are of me but i never treasure it... Now that you have gone, I wish i can just have another chance to hear it from you again... But i guess it will never happen.

After you have gone, I went into depression... I was basically a walking zombie.. I even tried to end my life... I find that my whole world have collapsed... I have no meaning to live on anymore... But time after time, i was saved...

Missing you is the only thing i can do to remember you... I cannot deny even until today after so many years, I will always cry whenever you come to my mind... I never forget you and your teaching.. You will always be in my mind forever and ever and ever...

Grandma I Love You...

I know you been looking after me even you have left me... That why i was saved time and time again...

Thank you for your love and your teaching.

Love,
Grandson

Something my family don't know about

I have been very independent in life and u can say that i hardly let my family member worry about me.. So when i was being diagnose with this illness, I din really tell them about it... Maybe deep down inside me, i love them too much to see them worry...

It a condition i never expect i will get it in the first place... I wasn't asthmatic when i was young yet i start to develop asthma problem and the frequency of recurring is kind of frequent... I know something it not right but i have been ignoring it only until recently... Just a few month ago, i started to have chest pain and unable to sleep properly... I din realise it was so seriously until i finally got for checkup... I was being diagnose with Cardiac pulmonary edema — also known as congestive heart failure. Doctor told me this...:" Eventhough this condition is curable, but then the danger is always there cos no one can predict when your heart/lungs will fail you... But then again be optimisstic about it... Cos it not as if it's terminal..."

After hearing this, i really do not know how to react or how to feel...

Did some research over the internet, it does not seem so bad but then the words of the doc always linger on and on and on...

This is also the reason why i choose not to tell my family... I do not want them to worry about it. I try to hide and be as per normal even the slightest discomfort i have... Ever since started on the medication, I started to have less appetite and craving for food... What to do?? Doc say it the side effect of the medication...

Anyway, i am learning to cope with my condition and hopefully i will survive...

Cheers

My very First Blog Entry

Actually, i was never thought that i will ever start a Blog cos i always think that my life is kind of uninteresting and boring... But then again, going through blog from friends, i started to take a 2nd look into blogging (OK... A few times more that 2nd :P)

From various blog, i saw happiness, sadness, frustration, depression, love, breakup and many more...

I asked myself :" Do writing blog help in coping emotions?" Most of the reply i got "YES".. But then again i asked:"But what is there to write?" and reply is :"Just go with the flow.. Writing blog is about u, not about others..."

Because of this, I decided to start...

So for my 1st posting, I decided to let u know who am i... (It's not going to be easy though but i will try)

First of all, My blog name is Manthony G which is also my real name... hehehe... Just turn 30 this year and looking forward to my 30s.... Been working in the Banking industry for more than 7 years now... (yes abit bored but then hey with the retrenchment affecting majority, I'm glad i still got a job)

Well let see what else i can tell u... People who know me know that i kind of a perfectionist in any other way u can think of (Good or Bad not sure)... Maybe good in the way that i push myself to get better each time and get it right but bad in the way that people around me will feel unnecessary stress from me indirectly.

I believe that opportunity only come by once... It's like u have a seed in your hand... Do u want to plant it to make sure it grow into a beautiful plant or u just throw it away thinking that it useless to you...

A wise woman once say this to me:" U have the seed (opportunity) in your hand, instead of throwing it away. Why not make full use of it and see what come out of it? Opportunity don't come by that often in life. U either make or break it. But when u see one, will u able to to seize it if u think that it useless to you?"

And to be frank, this have been my belief ever since she tell me about it. I only live life once... I will never able to take back time and relive it again. I will never able to change what has already happen. I will never be able to undo what was already been done... But yet again, all these ups and downs made me who I am today...

To others, I may be someone who seem very strong both emotionally and mentally but am I. The answer is NO. I may put up a strong front for my family, friends, colleagues and other people but then deep down inside me, i just as chaotic and vulnerable as anyone else.... Being strong is what was thought to me when i was young by this wise woman of my life...

Beside being a perfectionist, I am humour, handsome, cute, dark and very fashionable (Hahaha... Very Thicked Skinned, right... hahaha) Just joking on all these unless you think otherwise... :P

Hmmmm.... I am also.... Wait... Wait a min.... Damn this is hard... Why is it so hard to write about myself... Give me some pointers pls.... pls.... Fine! I give up...

So i guess that for now.... Hahaha