Depressed!!!

I am back to where i belong again... This used to be an unfamiliar territory to me seems to have drawn much attention and attract me back in again... It all become familiar to me now

I've been crying over the story based on my best memory the events happening in my life... All the up and downs, the happy and sad... Some friends asked me to take a break so as to allow myself to get a breather instead but then i just keep on writing and writing and writing... But do take some time to post it on my blog...

Somehow i starting to get very tired of my life... So tired that thought of suicide has once again arises inside me... I trying to fight but more disappointment comes by... No matter how i tried to fight it, disappointment always win... And that thought just come closer and closer and closer to the verge of that final push...

A friend once told me that i can trust him for who he is... but recently, i find out that our so called friendship is just based on lies and lies and more lies... Then a new relationship blossom for him, all sudden, this friendship withered...

I don't know what to do... And i don't know how things going to turn up... Yesterday, we suppose to meet up for coffee but i cancel it because of an action from him that i know he is not keen in meeting me.... Thus I msn his boyfriend in the morning as i do not have my friend number (irony? yes it is though he said he going to sms me his temporary number but i din receive it from him thus i realise that once again, he don't really mean of meeting me) So i msn his boyfriend trying to be nice guy saying that hey since we are going to club today, we shall see each other today. Boyfriend replied ok he is here with me... Will let him know

So today come, i received an sms from his boyfriend saying that they need to cancel the meeting tonight because they have something on... Yes you read it correctly, the sms is from his boyfriend, not him... So what kind of friendship are we actually having? I no longer sure and seriously i start to have doubt whether i really wanted to carry on this friendship with him...

I getting very tired... Really very tired...