Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Farewell '08... Hello '09
Posted by Manthony G at 2:09 PM 1 comments
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Love Is... (Part 19 - A New Beginning)
Kenny: “You sure about it?”
Darryl: “I’m not sure what the future lies for us now but I know that I love you… When you are going to walk out the door… I am scared that I will never have the courage to tell you how I feel anymore… Some part of me tells me not to let you know how I feel because I don’t want to lose you forever… Even bring friends or brother will be better than not having you around at all… However, a little person inside tell me that I need to let you know… If not I will live in regret for the rest of my life…”
Kenny: “I am scared of the future as well… But then again it the future we are talking about… Nobody will know anything more then anyone else… No one can tell what future lies… Maybe we are together as couple, maybe we become closer then ever… Maybe I get killed tomorrow…”
Darryl: “Don’t say that… If you are going to die tomorrow… Then what about me…? So you mean what you say just now are all lies?”
Kenny: “Of course not… I mean everything I say… I am not going to hurt you or make you sad…”
Darryl: “But you already have…”
Kenny: “When?”
Darryl: “In Bangkok with Mon…?”
Kenny: “I’m sorry about it… At least now, I can tell the whole world that you are my boyfriend…”
Darryl: “The whole world including your parents…”
Kenny: “Ermmm… Not them lar… Don’t think they are really to meet their daughter-in-law yet”
Darryl: “Hey hey… Watch it… I am the man of the house… Wait I kick you out of my house…” Kenny hug Darryl tightly..
Kenny: “You sure you will do it…” He planted a kiss… Darryl blushed
Darryl: “I send you home…”
Kenny: “You really are throwing me out!!!...”
Darryl: “No lar… You need to go home to unload your stuff right…”
Kenny: “Well… I can unload it here with you…” He let out a cheeky laugh and hug Darryl tight… Darryl blushed and look away.
Kenny: “So what you say?”
Darryl: “I go get my car keys and send you home…”
Kenny: “Huh….”
Darryl: “Huh what… No huh…. You need to go home and see your parents…”
Kenny: “But you ask me to stay with me…”
Darryl: “Since when… You need to go home and see them… Plus I need to unpack my stuff and rest as well…”
Kenny: “Ok lor… Then no need to send me… I will call a cab…”
Darryl: “You sure…?”
Kenny: “Yes Dear… You are tired so you rest well ok… I give you a call when I’m home..”
Darryl: “OK…” Darryl lean forward and kiss Kenny….
To be continue…
Posted by Manthony G at 11:18 AM 2 comments
Labels: Love Is...
Monday, December 29, 2008
Love Is... (Part 18 - The Reply Part 2)
Kenny slowly removed his lips from Darryl… He looked at Darryl lovingly and touches his face….
Kenny: “This is the happiness moment of my life till now… I will not let you down… I promise to you that I will be here with you whenever you need me… I love you…”
Darryl: “Before you say that again, I need to let you know how I really feel…” Disappointment showed on Kenny’s face…
Kenny: “Are you going to tell me that you don’t love me?”
Darryl: “Shhhh… Just listen to what I’m going to say, ok?” Kenny nodded…
Darryl: “To be frank, this feeling is a bit overwhelmed for me at this moment of time… I don’t deny I have feeling for you but yet again, I am afraid of going into it… I am not sure how to tell you… I love you, Kenny but I am losing you forever…”
Kenny: “You are not going to lose me… I promise?”
Darryl: “How can you be so sure? Have you think what if we ended the relationship? Can we still be friend? Can we still be ok to be friends? I don’t want to lose you forever… I don’t want to…” Emotions are peaking like a volcano going to erupt…
Kenny: “You will not lose me… I promise… No matter what happen…”
Darryl: “I… I… I…”
Kenny: “Just calm down ok… I know what you mean… I have the same struggle myself before I decided to make this step… I want to move our relationship to another level…”
Darryl: “But I don’t want to ruin this relationship between us…”
Kenny: “Do you love me?”
Darryl: “……”
Kenny: “Do you love me?”
Darryl: “……”
Kenny: “Do you love me?”
Darryl: “……”
Kenny sit up from the bed and decided to leave…
Kenny: “I guess you have given me the answer already….I better go now… Will let you know when I home… Bye…”
Darryl seeing Kenny’s back turning towards him… A feeling of lost rushed into him… He is disappointed with himself… He is disappointed for not brave enough to face his feeling… Kenny’s image is moving further and further from him…
“Is this what I want? What is wrong with me? I love Kenny… But what is it so hard to say it out?” Darryl thought to himself… Darryl rush out of his room….
He saw Kenny picking up his luggage… Kenny is leaving without even looking back at him… He is opening the door… He is leaving… He is really going to leave…
Just as he heading out of the door, Darryl ran towards him and hugs him from the back…
Darryl: “I love you…. “
To be continue...
Posted by Manthony G at 11:56 AM 1 comments
Labels: Love Is...
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Why am I still here...
Posted by Manthony G at 7:05 PM 0 comments
Labels: My Thought
Saturday, December 27, 2008
L.O.N.E.L.Y
I'm alone,
Posted by Manthony G at 10:07 PM 2 comments
Labels: Poems
Where am I?
Posted by Manthony G at 5:48 PM 0 comments
Labels: My Thought
Friday, December 26, 2008
Let Me Love U...
Posted by Manthony G at 3:39 PM 0 comments
Labels: Story
Love Is... (Part 17 - The Reply Part 1)
Kenny: “Dear, you ok? It ok, if you don’t give me an answer… I just want to let you know how I feeling… I want to let you know my love for you is growing stronger and stronger everyday… I do not want to deny it, I do not want to hide it any longer even though it may not be the same after I say all those things, maybe you don’t feel the same, maybe you will hate me… But... I… I… I…”
Darryl turned around and faces Kenny… He put his finger on Kenny lip… Kenny remained silence… Darryl looked at Kenny and slowly removes his finger away… But Kenny tried to speak again… Darryl again hushes him… They looked at each other silently… Darryl lean forward to Kenny and planted a kiss on his forehead…
Darryl: “So do you want to continue talking or you want to know my answer…”
Kenny: “Your answer…”
Darryl: “Actually I really do not know how to answer you… Maybe I am still wondering whether I am feeling the same for you… But deep inside me, I know that you mean a lot to me… I do not know whether this is brotherly love or is it otherwise… But looking at you each time, I tell myself… No matter what happen, I will protect you, be there for you, take care of you… When you say those things to me, I feel your love for me… But I am scared… Scared that you will leave me… Scared that you will not in my life anymore… Scared that it may just be a moment of fun for you… I…”
Kenny: “No… It not a moment of fun to me… Do you know how much courage I have to brave myself in order for me to take this step?”
Darryl: “I know… And I understand… But…”
Kenny: “You know you once told me that being in love is about doing the right thing at the right time… I have been with you since young and the love just grew stronger and stronger… During the trip, I saw you in tears… I tell myself I may not be good enough for you… More than once, I want to hold you hands… More than once, I want to kiss when I saw your face every morning… More than once, I want to hug you tight… The love for you is killing me… The pains of not doing all those things are killing me… It hurts so bad… It hurt to control my love for you… It hurt real bad…”
Darryl: “…..”
Kenny: “I love you, Darryl… I love you...”
Darryl: “I…. I… I…”
Kenny hugs Darryl forward and planted a kiss on him….
To be continue….
Posted by Manthony G at 1:40 PM 1 comments
Labels: Love Is...
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Twilight
Posted by Manthony G at 9:59 PM 0 comments
Labels: My Thought
H.O.P.E
Posted by Manthony G at 2:06 PM 0 comments
Labels: Poems
Is there Hope 4 Me...
Posted by Manthony G at 10:24 AM 1 comments
Labels: My Thought
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Everybody Sing Along.... :)
Posted by Manthony G at 1:48 PM 0 comments
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Posted by Manthony G at 10:08 AM 0 comments
Labels: My Life
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
I Miss U
Posted by Manthony G at 4:30 PM 0 comments
Labels: Poems
Love Is... (Part 16 - The Confession)
The moment they step into the house, they feel so tired and just to lie on the bed without doing anything… Kenny turned and looked at Darryl… Darryl blushed and turned away…
Darryl: “Don’t stare at me…”
Kenny: “Why not…?”
Darryl: “Just don’t look…”
Kenny: “But I want to…”
Darryl: “Wait your special someone angry…”
Kenny: “I guess my special someone is just blushing at this moment of time…Because he is looking away at me when I looking at him”
Darryl: “….”
Kenny: “I guess he is just to shy to look at me…Plus he is not talking to me”
Darryl do not know whether to reply or not to reply… What to do then? Then he felt Kenny leaning close to him and whisper into his ear…
Kenny: “Before I introduce you my special someone, I just want to say something first… Can you be my audience?”
Darryl: “Yup”
Kenny: “My feeling for him has never surfaced to this level before but somehow, he always has a place in my heart… At first I thought nothing about it but then the feeling get stronger and stronger everyday I spend my time with him… I remember the time on New Year Day 2000… I went to his office and spend the New Year with him… Nothing fancy but it is the the best New Year of my life… Then guess work get in our way for a while… Though we still meet up but I never want to do anything to jeopardize what we have... Then the time we spend together during reservist only make my feeling for him stronger… That when I find out, I maybe in love with him… You know something?” He wraps his hand around Darryl and hug him close…
Darryl: “Yup…”
Kenny: “This is the first trip on the plane and not myself at time… I have to confess that I did plan on the couple t-shirt thingy to find out how he feels and also the couple game… I was too afraid of asking him but then I just wanted to do something that I can called him dear… This trip makes me realize that I am indeed in love with him… But I am not sure how he feels… So before I introduce him to you… I need him to tell me how he feels… Dear, will you be my boyfriend….”
To be continue…
Posted by Manthony G at 3:21 PM 1 comments
Labels: Love Is...
Monday, December 22, 2008
Thinking of U
And the way you make me feel.
I'm getting scared now
Cause these feelings feel so real,
I've always felt it,
But it's never been this strong
I cannot fall now
I've got to hold on.
When my eyes are on you
It's so hard to look away.
When its time too leave you
I so badly want to stay.
I want to tell you
What's running through my head
But for now I'll just keep it to myself instead,
Cause I want nothing to jeopardize
The friendship that we created over the years,
And I don't want to be left
Heartbroken and in tears.
I want you to know how I feel,
And that I mean it, sometimes
I just want to scream it, its real.
These words have been bottled up inside
They explain the feelings I hide
And the failed times I've tried.
I don't know how much longer I will keep this in,
Thinking of ways,
Don't know where to begin.
Deeply confused,
Don't know what to do,
I'll just leave it be, wait and see,
It will happen if it's meant to be.
I have your friendship,
But I really want your heart
This is tearing me apart;
I don't know what to do
I just want to be with you,
Make you happy and make you smile.
Though times I cant see you for a while,
Its only cause my hearts desires can't be filled.
It's hard to know you're with someone else
When all I want is you here with me,
I want to show you what this could be;
I don't want to tell you
I want you to just open up your eyes and see.
I want you to feel it,
The feelings that I feel,
I really want to show them,
These feelings are so real.
But I can't show you,
I probably never will because
I want to walk, but your standing still.
These are the feelings inside of me,
That are locked away
Waiting to be free,
Drowning my heart in misery.
Posted by Manthony G at 4:14 PM 0 comments
Labels: Poems
Love Is... (Part 15 - Singapore)
Darryl cannot take it any longer… He needs to know what is going on between the 2 of them at this moment… But yet he finds it embarrassing to ask Kenny about it… So what should he do now…? What should he do…?
All of the sudden, Kenny hold on to his hand. Darryl awake from his thought and look at Kenny… Darryl din even realized that the plane has already taken off… Looking at the panicky face of Kenny… Darryl just hold on to him real tight wanting to make him feel at ease… But some funny thought came into his mind and he let out a heartfelt smile…
Finally touch down at Singapore Changi Airport, Kenny looked at Darryl and then asked…
Kenny: “Dear, What you smiling just now? You thinking I am funny is it?”
Darryl: “No… Just something funny come into my mind…”
Kenny: “Like what…?”
Darryl: “I was thinking whether this will always be the case when we go travelling again… You scared of flying…”
Kenny: “I will get use to it de… As long you are with me for every trip…”
Without hesitating, Darryl decided to use this opportunity to find out what is going on with the 2 of them… Are they still in the game like Robin mentioned?
Darryl: “Me every trip? Then what about your special someone that you mention in the hotel…”
Kenny: “……”
Darryl: “Wait your special someone kill me then how…”
Kenny: “I sure that will not happen… Because it will not be possible…”
Darryl: “So sure?”
Kenny: “Yes… Because I will not bring hurt to him…”
Darryl: “It’s a him…”
Kenny: “Yes it is and I am happy that it is him…”
Darryl: “Do I know him? When you introducing it to me?” Darryl’s heart was pounding very quickly….
Kenny: “No need to introduce… You know him better than me…”
Darryl: “I know him? Who you talking about…? Robin? Mon?”
Kenny: “You really want to do it here…? No regret…”
Darryl: “No regret…”
Kenny: “Ok, fine…” He grabs hold of Darryl’s hand… Darryl blushed and trying to change topic…
Darryl: “Hey our luggage is here… Let go…” Kenny looked at him… Darryl just let out a smile…
Kenny: “Let go back to your place first…”
Darryl: “OK… Let me do some unpacking and then I send you home later…”
Kenny: “Thanks dear….”
Darryl: “No need to thank la… That what friends are for…”
Kenny: “Later I will officially introduce my special someone to you…”
Darryl: “Really… Can’t wait to see him…”
Kenny: “Yup… I can't wait to introduce him to you too…”
To be continued….
Posted by Manthony G at 3:58 PM 0 comments
Labels: Love Is...
Sunday, December 21, 2008
What's Love
How much I love you,
And what you really mean to me.
I love you but you don't know,
I love you,
But I'm afraid to show.
I need you here with me,
I promise,
I'll never hate you,
And that will never be.
But why can't I just say,
That I love you that way.
I never felt this way before in my life.
And sometimes,
It really hurts like a knife!
Cause I don't have the courage to tell you
How I feel.
And to tell you,
That my feelings for you are real.
To tell you that I want you so bad,
And tell you that if I could be with you,
I'd be so glad.
I hope you notice one day how I feel,
And that you will see how I feel is so real.
I hope you will love me some day,
The way that I love you,
And I promise I will always love you,
I'll really do!
So if you'd just take the first step,
You really won't regret it.
And I will love you every day a little more,
Bit by bit. I hope these lines can make you see,
What you really mean to me.
What I'm trying to say,
Is that I've never loved some one this way!
Posted by Manthony G at 11:13 PM 0 comments
Labels: Poems
The VOW
This is the final draft of the vow that Nick written for the ceremony... Just wanted to post it here because I find it really romantic and touching...
"Never once I imagine this...
Never once I realise I will be married
Never once I realise that you will be in my life...
You are like an angel send to me...
An angel to pull me through...
An angel to keep me warmth...
An angel to look after me...
An angel to love me for who i am
I can never imagine what my life will be like without you
I can never imagine what my life will be like not loving you
I can never imagine what my life will be like without you completing it with me...
You are the missing jigsaw puzzle i been looking for
You are the only one that i will ever love
You are the only one that give me a future that i will be looking forward to...
I promise you... From this moment,
I will protect you from harm,
i will stick with you through high and low,
I will be with you through the happy and sad...
I will love you every second, every minute, every hour of my life till death do us part..."
Posted by Manthony G at 4:20 PM 0 comments
Labels: My Life
The Wedding Ceremony
It was a very intimate and heartfelt kind of wedding... The song you hear in the background is the bride (Claudia) favourite song and it was use as the background when she walk down the isle... Guess most people don't really know the meaning to the song but then again why bother when it was really very romantic when the music sound and she walked down the isle... Now i understand why everyone said that being a bride is the most beatiful moment of their life...
Seriously everything was so perfect... The vow that they exchange, the ceremony, the reception...
Then my turn as the bestman to make a speech... I was actually quite dreadful of this part as i really have no experience on making a speech during a wedding... So to be frank i was not really prepare for it but again... No choice... have to do it...:P
"Today marked a new beginning to this lovely couple as husband and wife... A long lasting future for both of them... I am glad to be part of this ceremony to witness the love between the 2 of them and be the bestman for the very first time of my life... I believe in love... And always will... Nick has once said to me that marriage is something he never expect to happen in his entire life... But the appearing of Claudia changes him.. Since then, Claudia has not left his heart... And now he is married... Being his friend, i am happy for him and happy that he found the person he really crazy about after so many years together and many more to come... A toast to the newly wed.... Cheers"
Think i do good ya... Hahaha... We proceed to have the first dance... and surprisingly, Nick asked me to dance with him... Hmmm... Interesting isn't it... hahaha
Posted by Manthony G at 3:41 PM 0 comments
Labels: My Life
Saturday, December 20, 2008
My friend say "I Do"
This weekend is going to be chaotic for me... One of my friends is saying "I DO" today and i been asked to him his bestman cum wedding planner cum bride makeup artist... Aiyo so many things to be accomplished...
Yesterday, went to rehearsal with him to go through the schedule and speech and everything... Then all sudden at 5plus while we are at Orchard, he mentioned he need to change money for today... Faintz... 5plus already where to find a bank... So called my colleague and look for location and at least mission accomplished...
After everything, we proceed to his Bachelor Party that started with a dinner, then coffee then dance at night club... Faintz... Looking at the way he is enjoying himself with the girls... I started to worry for the wife-to-be... :P
Reached home around 4am today... and but 6am i already on my way out to the wife to beautify his wife-to-be...
I am currently at the church waiting for the ceremony to commence... Sitting at one corner and waiting for the guest to arrived... U must be thinking how come i am not ushering the guest... Simple lar... Just use the most common words... "Very tired, let me rest for a while..."
Ok... Got to go... Update more on the wedding later when i am more free ba...
Cheers
Posted by Manthony G at 9:51 AM 0 comments
Labels: My Life
Friday, December 19, 2008
How True is This???
The dedication means “I am just too immature in my life and this relationship… I never know I have cause you so much pain and unhappiness… I always see things my way and neglect yours… Now that there is no turning back for us… I really wish that thing will be better for you… I’m Sorry for everything….” (Not the actual words)
I really find it very true most time when we are in love, we tends to slip into the direction when we make our decision… We only see things our way… When we stop loving someone, we just disappeared from the person life thinking that Time will heal… But sometimes, it doesn’t… What you think is the best way may not be the best way for another person…. We will always neglect the smallest details that can be added into something big and then no turning back then we realized “It’s too late…”
Someone in my life went through 2 relationships back to back when the other party just sends him a sms and a msn to say that it over… Since then the person totally vanished from his life… At that time, he was really miserable, he committed suicide but he survived… I guess he is just being naïve… Cos the other party never understands the pain he goes through… But in the split moment, he just thinks that only death can heal the pain…
What it mean for you may not necessary be the best for the other party… When you want to have a group outing, he/she may only want to be sometime alone with you… When you want to go out, he/she may just want to stay home and cuddle… When you wanted trust, he/she may want the same from you… When you wanted commitment, he/she may not be ready… When you think that you no longer love, he/she may just want to have a chance again…
In the initial stage, maybe it is true but when time goes by… One start pondered how true this sentence is…
Posted by Manthony G at 9:18 AM 0 comments
Labels: My Thought
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Love Is... (Part 14 - Back to Singapore Final)
Phone ranged… They look at each other awkwardly before Darryl went to pick up the phone… It’s the hotel calling to inform of the check out timing… Awkward moment again… Both of them were looking at each other blankly before Darryl spoke…
Darryl: “Guess we need to finish packing soon”
Kenny: “Ok…”
Darryl: “Thank for the gift… It really means a lot to me…”
Kenny: “Thank for your gift too… It’s funny that we are together most time and yet both of us manage to buy stuff for each other…”
Darryl: “Ya… It weird right… I guess we really do make some effort for it…”
Kenny: “I guess so… OK let finish packing and checks out else they will charge us for another day stay…”
Darryl: “Yup…”
Kenny: “What time Robin picking us up later? “
Darryl: “In another 2 hour time I guess… Am thinking maybe we go to the airport ourselves and meet him there… At least we can kill some time there and check in the luggage first…”
Kenny: “Not a bad idea also…”
Darryl: “I give him a call… then I’ll give you a hand”
Kenny: “Thanks, dear…” Darryl smiled…
Darryl: “OK, all settled… I told Robin we will meet him there directly as he claimed it also nearer for him to travel to the airport…”
Kenny: “OK… Dear, can help me with this… I just don’t seem to be able to fix everything in my luggage…” Darryl looked at the luggage and said…
Darryl: “Of course… U are not even packing, u just simply put everything in the luggage… Tell you what, you go freshen up and I will work miracle with your messy work… hahaha…”
Kenny: “Sure?”
Darryl: “Yes… “
Kenny: “Thanks Dear… You are the best…” He planted a kiss on Darryl cheek… Darryl blushed…
They checked out from the hotel and go straight to the airport… After checking in the luggage, they meet up with Robin for coffee…
Robin: “So what you guys had been doing for the past 2 days without me?”
Darryl: “Oh… We went to explore Bangkok in the term of shopping, shopping and more shopping…” All of them laughed…
Kenny: “We went back to DJ Station to kind of apologize to the waiter and have more fun…”
Darryl: “Yup… Very exciting…”
Kenny: “We even find out that Mon is not interested in me at all but Darryl… So we decided to play this couple game where we pretended to be couple throughout the whole night… It was funny… but yet nice…”
Darryl: “Ya ya…”
Robin: “So what happened?”
Darryl: “Nothing much, we just behave intimately in front of Mon lor… Like calling each other nickname and stuff… We even wear matching T-shirt to look like couple…”
Robin: “Then…”
Kenny: “Then just like that lor… Nothing much… We just doing it for fun only… Hahaha”
Robin: “Can’t believe you didn’t leave me out for such fun…”
Kenny: “If we include you then will be love triangle liao… Hahaha”
Robin: “True also… But I can pretend to be your lover then Darryl go with Mon ma…”
Kenny: “Sorry, Darryl is off market already…” Kenny held Darryl hand and smiled…
Robin: “Huh… Still playing the game…”
Kenny and Darryl smiled without replying…
Time to check in for boarding already… Goodbye and hugs were exchanged…
And officially it the end of the trip but it just the beginning of a new chapter…
Stay tuned…
Posted by Manthony G at 11:22 AM 0 comments
Labels: Love Is...
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Love Is...(Part 13 - Back to Singapore Part 2)
Kenny: “….. I think I may be in love with someone…. But I am unsure whether the someone know it or feel the same… Deep down inside me, I still confused… I never felt like this before… I really lost of what to do… Just want to hug you to feel better…” He finally let go of Darryl… Darryl turned around and looked at Kenny…
“God, he is tearing… Who is this person that he talking about? Why am I blushing? Why am I feeling this way?” Darryl thought to himself not knowing what he should do at this point… He is confused… His heart pounding…. He is feeling breathless…. “Oh god, get a hang of yourself… Calm down…” Darryl thought to himself again…
Kenny: “You ok?”
Darryl: “Yes…”
Kenny: “Sorry to do make you feel uneasy… I just want to hug you only…”
Darryl: “It ok… That what friends are for…”
Kenny: “Yup…” He looked away… “Let packed up and then get ready to go home ba… By the way I got you a gift just now when we are shopping around…”
Darryl: “Huh… How did you do that?”
Kenny: “Hee… Let it be a secret ba…”
Darryl: “No big deal… Because I also get you a gift too…”
Kenny: “Serious? Let exchange the gift ba…”
Darryl: “Wait before we exchange… I got something to say to you also…”
Kenny: “Yup…”
Darryl: “You know this trip has been wonderful for me and I am sorry that I shouted at you and I really feel bad about it so I went to get this present as my way to apologize to you… Please accept this present…”
Kenny: “Thank… Do I have to give a speech before accepting the present…?”
Darryl: “Just accept lar…”
It so amazing about exchanging of gift can turn an awkward situation into something so nice… Darryl looking at the gift… It nothing fancy but it does mean a lot to him… Tears started to flow…
Kenny: “You ok…?”
Darryl: “Yup… Just that this gift is….”
Kenny: “I know what you mean… I was walking down the street and saw this… So I guess it will bring back good memories to you…”
Darryl: “It does… Thank you… Thank you…” Both of them look at each other and lean forward…..
To be continue….
Posted by Manthony G at 11:01 AM 0 comments
Labels: Love Is...
Monday, December 15, 2008
Love Is... (Part 12 - Back to Singapore Part 1)
Kenny: “Feel so lousy…”
Darryl: “No choice lar… Time to be back to the real world liao…”
Kenny: “Haiz…”
Darryl: “We can always do this again…”
Kenny: “Yup… It’s nice doing thing alone with you…”
Darryl: “Well, we are not exactly alone… We have Robin, Mon…”
Kenny: “Ermmm…. What I mean was…. Ermmm… Nvm”
Darryl sensing that something is amiss with Kenny this few days because he seem to restrain himself from saying something…
Darryl: “Just say lar…”
Kenny: “Nothing… nevermind”
Darryl: “Common…If not I will tickle you till you beg me to stop…”
Kenny: “No No No… No tickle pls….”
Darryl: “Then say lar… it so weird… the past few days, u keep wanting to say something yet hold back…”
Kenny: “I…. I…. I….”
Darryl: “I am waiting….”
Kenny: “I…. I tell you later when we on plane… Let go shopping now… Not much time left already…”
Darryl: “But…. U haven tell me…”
Kenny: “Tell you later… Common… Let go…”
So they headed out to Siam Square and other shopping mall to do their last minute shopping… What a day and shopping...!!!
Soon they are back in to hotel getting ready and check out for the hotel… And all the sudden, Kenny gives Darryl a hug from behind… Whispering something into his ears…
Kenny: “I never want to spoil the friendship between us but just wanted to give you this hug as it been wonderful having you as a friend and having you around me lately… A mistake that I made by telling Mon that we are couple will bring you so much trouble but then again… I am glad I made the mistake…”
Darryl was speechless and trying to compose himself... When Kenny speak again…
Kenny: “The mistake made me realize something… But I am really afraid of saying it out… For the past few days, I was never so happy before in my life… You make me realize that I just wanna….”
To be continue…
Posted by Manthony G at 12:30 PM 2 comments
Labels: Love Is...
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Word Cannot Express
I was always a little in awe of Great-aunt Stephina Roos. Indeed, as children we were all frankly terrified of her. The fact that she did not live with the family, preferring her tiny cottage and solitude to the comfortable but rather noisy household where we were brought up-added to the respectful fear in which she was held.
We used to take it in turn to carry small delicacies which my mother had made down from the big house to the little cottage where Aunt Stephia and an old colored maid spent their days. Old Tnate Sanna would open the door to the rather frightened little messenger and would usher him-or her - into the dark voor-kamer, where the shutters were always closed to keep out the heat and the flies. There we would wait, in trembling but not altogether unpleasant.
She was a tiny little woman to inspire so much veneration. She was always dressed in black, and her dark clothes melted into the shadows of the voor-kamer and made her look smaller than ever. But you felt. The moment she entered. That something vital and strong and somehow indestructible had come in with her, although she moved slowly, and her voice was sweet and soft.
She never embraced us. She would greet us and take out hot little hands in her own beautiful cool one, with blue veins standing out on the back of it, as though the white skin were almost too delicate to contain them.
Tante Sanna would bring in dishes of sweet, sweet, sticky candy, or a great bowl of grapes or peaches, and Great-aunt Stephina would converse gravely about happenings on the farm ,and, more rarely, of the outer world.
When we had finished our sweetmeats or fruit she would accompany us to the steep, bidding us thank our mother for her gift and sending quaint, old-fashioned messages to her and the Father. Then she would turn and enter the house, closing the door behind, so that it became once more a place of mystery.
As I grew older I found, rather to my surprise, that I had become genuinely fond of my aloof old great-aunt. But to this day I do not know what strange impulse made me take George to see her and to tell her, before I had confided in another living soul, of our engagement. To my astonishment, she was delighted.
She seemed relieved when she heard that George had bought a farm near our own farm and intended to settle in South Africa. She became quite animated, and chattered away to him.
After that I would often slip away to the little cottage by the mealie lands. Once she was somewhat disappointed on hearing that we had decided to wait for two years before getting married, but when she learned that my father and mother were both pleased with the match she seemed reassured.
Still, she often appeared anxious about my love affair, and would ask questions that seemed to me strange, almost as though she feared that something would happen to destroy my romance. But I was quite unprepared for her outburst when I mentioned that George thought of paying a lightning visit to England before we were married."He must not do it,"she cried."Ina, you must not let him go. Promise me you will prevent him."she was trembling all over. I did what I could to console her, but she looked so tired and pale that I persuaded her to go to her room and rest, promising to return the next day.
When I arrived I found her sitting on the stoep. She looked lonely and pathetic, and for the first time I wondered why no man had ever taken her and looked after her and loved her. Mother had told me that Great-aunt Stephina had been lovely as a young girl, and although no trace of that beauty remained, except perhaps in her brown eyes, yet she looked so small and appealing that any man, one felt, would have wanted to protect her.She paused, as though she did not quite know how to begin.
Then she seemed to give herself, mentally, a little shake. "You must have wondered ", she said, "why I was so upset at the thought of young George's going to England without you. I am an old woman, and perhaps I have the silly fancies of the old, but I should like to tell you my own love story, and then you can decide whether it is wise for your man to leave you before you are married."
"I was quite a young girl when I first met Richard Weston. He was an Englishman who boarded with the Van Rensburgs on the next farm, four or five miles from us. Richard was not strong. He had a weak chest, and the doctors had sent him to South Africa so that the dry air could cure him. He taught the Van Rensburg children, who were younger than I was, though we often played together, but he did this for pleasure and not because he needed money."We loved one another from the first moment we met, though we did not speak of our love until the evening of my eighteenth birthday. All our friends and relatives had come to my party, and in the evening we danced on the big old carpet which we had laid down in the barn. Richard had come with the Van Rensburgs, and we danced together as often as we dared, which was not very often, for my father hated the Uitlanders. Indeed, for a time he had quarreled with Mynheer Van Rensburg for allowing Richard to board with him, but afterwards he got used to the idea, and was always polite to the Englishman, though he never liked him.
"That was the happiest birthday of my life, for while we were resting between dances Richard took me outside into the cool, moonlit night, and there, under the stars ,he told me he loved me and asked me to marry him. Of course I promised I would, for I was too happy to think of what my parents would say, or indeed of anything except Richard was not at our meeting place as he had arranged. I was disappointed but not alarmed, for so many things could happen to either of us to prevent out keeping our tryst. I thought that next time we visited the Van Ransburgs, I should hear what had kept him and we could plan further meetings…
"So when my father asked if I would drive with him to Driefontein I was delighted. But when we reached the homestead and were sitting on the stoep drinking our coffee, we heard that Richard had left quite suddenly and had gone back to England. His father had died, and now he was the heir and must go back to look after his estates.
"I do not remember very much more about that day, except that the sun seemed to have stopped shining and the country no longer looked beautiful and full of promise, but bleak and desolate as it sometimes does in winter or in times of drought. Late that afternoon, Jantje, the little Hottentot herd boy, came up to me and handed me a letter , which he said the English baas had left for me. It was the only love letter I ever received, but it turned all my bitterness and grief into a peacefulness which was the nearest I could get, then, to happiness. I knew Richard still loved me, and somehow, as long as I had his letter, I felt that we could never be really parted, even if he were in England and I had to remain on the farm. I have it yet, and though I am an old, tired woman, it still gives me hope and courage."
"I must have been a wonderful letter, Aunt Stephia,"I said. The old lady came back from her dreams of that far-off romance."Perhaps," she said, hesitating a little, "perhaps, my dear, you would care to read it ?""I should love to , Aunt Stephia,"I said gently. She rose at once and tripped into the house as eagerly as a young girl. When she came back she handed me a letter, faded and yellow with age, the edges of the envelope worn and frayed as though it had been much handled. But when I came to open it I found that the seal was unbroken."Open it ,open it,"said Great-aunt Stephia, and her voice was shaking. I broke the seal and read.
It was not a love letter in the true sense of the word, but pages of the minutest directions of how"my sweetest Phina"was to elude her father's vigilance, creep down to the drift at night and there meet Jantje with a horse which would take her to Smitsdorp. There she was to go to "my true friend, Henry Wilson",who would give her money and make arrangements for her to follow her lover to Cape Town and from there to England ," where, my love, we can he be married at once. But if, my dearest, you are not sure that you can face lift with me in a land strange to you, then do not take this important step, for I love you too much to wish you the smallest unhappiness. If you do not come, and if I do not hear from you, then I shall know that you could never be happy so far from the people and the country which you love. If, however, you feel you can keep your promise to me, but are of too timid and modest a journey to England unaccompanied, then write to me, and I will, by some means, return to fetch my bride."
I read no further."But Aunt Phina!" I gasped. "Why…why…?" The old lady was watching me with trembling eagerness, her face flushed and her eyes bright with expectation." Read it aloud, my dear,"she said."I want to hear every word of it. There was never anyone I could trust…Outlanders were hated in my young days…I could not ask anyone."
"But, Auntie, don't you even know what he wrote?"The old lady looked down, troubled and shy like a child who has unwittingly done wrong."No, dear," she said, speaking very low. "You see, I never learned to read..."
Posted by Manthony G at 7:32 PM 0 comments
Labels: Story
My Saturday.... Zouk Out 2008
Posted by Manthony G at 8:15 AM 0 comments
Labels: My Life
Saturday, December 13, 2008
What Happen Yesterday???
It was kind of like a rollercoaster ride for me yesterday... Supposed to be TGIF right but then thing don't really turn out that way...
Was really busy with work the whole day but still manage to squeeze in some time to do a rehearsal for the upcoming Christmas dinner... Haiz... Will be the waiter of the first dish and yet has to do some sychronised dance move and stuff... The dance move was rather simple but then the sychronising part is not... We took almost 1hr and yet still not able to get it right... Until i cannot take it anymore and start leading the pack... Finally job accomplished... But then guess more rehearsal will be involved with the plates and stuff ba...
Then after work, wen thome to change to get ready for a pre Christmas Dinner in a hotel... But haiz how boring can it get... Very.... all we talked about is work, work and more work... *Fainting*
After dinner, we proceed to St James... The most dreadful place for me... Cos they decided to go Dragonfly... WTF... Why... Why... Why... *really gonna faint*... Me as usual trying to find excuse to not go because i know i never gonna enjoy it... But then again, was given orders to go... So sucking in my boredom. i went to Dragonfly... The night was literally dreadful cos more work talk... At this point i tell myself... "Damn am going to spend my friday night talking about work... I must get out of here" Seriously can longer take it... I excuse myself to leave...
Then i meet up with my friend to go Tabs... This is more like a friday night man... Saw a few friends in Tabs who i have not been in contact for like years... We chat, share drinks, dance and avoiding someone... hahaha... (take it separately if u keen to know what happen) until like 3am before we go for food and and head home...
By the time, i lied on bed... it already 5am ... And now at 10am... i am posting blog... hahaha
Posted by Manthony G at 10:03 AM 0 comments
Labels: My Life
Everlasting Love
Lawyer was very puzzled, after having a chat with them, he got their story....This couple had been quarreling all their 40 over yrs of marriage nothing ever seems to go right.
They hang on because of their children, afraid that it might affect their up-bringing. Now, all their children have already grown up, have their own family, there's nothing else the old couple have to worry about, all they wanted is to lead their own life free from all these years of unhappiness from their marriage, so both agree on a divorce....
Lawyer was having a hard time trying to get the papers done, because he felt that after 40 yrs of marriage at the age of 70, he couldnt understand why the old couple would still want a divorce..
While they were signing the papers, the wife told the husband.."I really love u, but i really cant carry on anymore, I'm sorry..""Its o.k, i understand.." said the husband. Lookin at this, the lawyer suggested a dinner together, just 3 of them,wife thought, why not, since they are still gonna be friends..
At the dining table, there was a silence of awkardness.The first dish was roasted chicken, immediately, the old man took the drumstick for the old lady.."take this, its your favourite.."
Looking at this, the lawyer thought maybe theres still a chance, but the wife was frowning when she answer.."This is always the problem, you always think so highly of yourself, never thought about how I feel, dont you know that i hate drumsticks?"
Little did she know that, over the years, the husband have been trying all ways to please her, little did she know that drumsticks was the husband's favourite. Little did he know that she never thought he understand her at all, little did he know that she hates drummsticks even though all he wants is the best for her.
That night, both of them couldnt sleep, toss and turn, toss and turn...after hours, the old man couldnt take it anymore, he knows that he still loves her, and he cant carry on life without her, he wants her back, he wants to tell her, he is sorry, he wanted to tell her "i love you"...
He picks up the phone, starting dialing her number....ringing never stops..he never stop dialing....
On the other side, she was sad, she couldn’t understand how come after all these years, he still doesnt understand her at all, she loves him a lot, but she just cant take it anymore....phone's ringing, she refuses to answer knowing that its him..."whats the point of talking now that its over...i have ask for it and now i wanna keep it this way, if not i will lose face.."she thought...still ringing...she have decided to pull out the cord...
Little did she remember, he have heart problems...
The next day, she received news that he had passed away...she rushed down to his apartment, saw his body, lying on the couch still holding on to the phone...he had a heart attack when he was still trying to get through her phone line....
As sad as she could be...she will have to clear his belongings...when she was looking thru the drawers, she saw this insurance policy, dated from the day they got married, with the beneficiary being her... And together in those file, there was this note...
"To my dearest wife, by the time you're reading this, I'm sure I'm no longer around, I bought this policy for you, though the amount is only $100k, I hope it will be able to help me continue my promise that i have made when we got married, I might not be around anymore, I want this amount of money to continue taking care of you, just like the way I will if I could have live longer. I want you to know I will always be around, by your side... I love you"
Tears flowed like river....
Posted by Manthony G at 9:47 AM 0 comments
Labels: Story
Friday, December 12, 2008
Easy... Difficult...
Difficult to occupy the heart of somebody
Easy to judge the errors of others
Difficult to recognize our own errors
Easy to hurt those whom we love
Difficult to heal those wounds
Easy to forgive others
Difficult to ask forgiveness
Easy to exhibit victory
Difficult to assume defeat with dignity
Easy to dream every night
Difficult to fight for a dream
Easy to pray every night
Difficult to find God in the smallest of things
Easy to say we love
Difficult to demonstrate it everyday
Easy to criticize everybody
Difficult to better/perfect ourselves
Easy to think of improving
Difficult to stop thinking and really do it
Easy to receive
Difficult to give
Posted by Manthony G at 3:04 PM 0 comments
Labels: My Thought
Thursday, December 11, 2008
The Power of L.O.V.E
I am not sure why I have decided to rewrite it… But then again a little somebody inside tell me to make certain modification… As you know, most time when you make modification to certain thing to a passage, it will not mean the same… So before I realized it, I have actually rewritten the whole entry…
Seriously after I have started to blog, it has been a rollercoaster ride for my emotion… Not sure whether this is good or bad but then I just cannot stop blogging… Since my first blog entry where I have no idea to the point where I decided to use a story to represent my life to missing my grandmother to the missing of my best friend and also the numerous story that I have posted so far… I find that I am actually moving toward a topic where most people need or waiting to happen… And that is LOVE…
In my blog, I used different way of interpretation to showcase a few different type of love… Not really sure whether you all love what you have read so far but I guess I am still trying very hard to make it work…
And thanks for the heartfelt comments and shout that some of you have left me… I really appreciated with gratitude…
This is actually what I want to talk about today in my own personal view of The Power of Love…
Have you ever met someone in your life who tells you that they don’t need love? They don’t believe in relationship? They don’t believe in true love?
I have met many in my life and seriously at this particular time of my life, I don’t believe in love either but somehow or another, I know I am motivated by it everyday… Not so much of a relationship kind love, but love from friends, family and a special someone I guess…
So what is actually the power of love that I am trying to talk about? Seriously I am not sure as well but from the point of other friends… It’s about building something strong and that is what we called T.RU.S.T.
A friend once asked me “Have you ever wondered why most people after they fall in love, they just started to forget everything n trust the person they love? When you are in love, do you trust them totally?” I replied “Yes”
Then he continued “Have you also notice that when you are in love, the most important you want from this person is trust?” I replied “Yes”
I don’t really know why he asked me those questions then but I realized it myself recently after my recent relationship failure in Dec last year
Sentences like “I need to be able trust you first…” “I need to know I can trust you” “You have to trust me” etc does come out from most people very easily.
For example, in a long distance relationship, Trust is the most important component to maintain it but then again, how can you measure trust…? And if the person really give you trust, will you be able to give back the trust needed? What does trust mean in this situation then? Does it mean flirting around without sex mean you can be trusted? Or does it mean sleeping with other without being caught means trust? So what is the trust that people is asking for?
In actual fact, it not just long distance relationship, every relationship is like that…
But in most relationship, trust is only a word and not an action… Why do I say that?
A friend once told me that the reason why he can go out doing his own stuff including sex with others is because his girlfriend trusted him so much and she will not suspect anything as long as he showed that he cared for her and she can trust him… It just that simple… And you must be thinking are they still together… The answer is YES and plan of getting married is being materialized… So why are they still together? It is because the girlfriend trusted him wholeheartedly…
To be frank, I am also hurt by trust… I was in a relationship when I find out that the person I loved has been cheating behind my back and even fall in love with the fling... But before I find out, I never suspected anything except for the sudden change of behaviour but I still pretend it could be stress or stuff from work… But in the end, when I find out, all I get is a sms telling me that it over between us…
I am not sure how people will react to the following sentence but at least to me, I think it is right to say that…
“Trust has always been the foundation of all unconditional love… Trust build the foundation of all love, Trust give people the power to love... But most people misuse the word Trust…”
Posted by Manthony G at 4:38 PM 0 comments
Labels: My Thought
S.A.D
A sudden sadness mull me since yesterday… I never thought it still hurting me so much… The whole of yesterday I was sad and feel like crying… But I manage to stay strong… I manage to control my sadness and pass through my working hours and gym without any tears… But my heart is tearing bad…
I am tired of pretending the strong person that people perceive me to be…
I am tired of pretending the person I am not…
I am tired of pretending everything around me is ok…
I am tired of pretending that I am happy…
I am just plain tired…
I just want to cry… I just want to let my tears flow…
The moment I reached home, my tears just flow uncontrollably... But while I am crying, I still trying to hide it while chatting with my friends on msn.. All the hahaha, all lolz etc... but none of them know that i am actually crying while all the hahaha and lolz come out...
The reason for the tears… On 1st Dec 08, I have dedicated a blog entry to a dear friend of mine who was taken away from me due to AIDs… and today 11 Dec 08, is his 4th anniversary…
To be frank, I was taken aback by the pain and sadness that I still going through especially near this day…
Why am I still feeling sad? Why am I still crying even after 4 years? Why have I not got over the fact that he has already left…? Why????? Why????? Why?????
The song you hear in the background is by his favourite artist and this is his favourite song of all times… Hope you guy enjoy it as well…
Posted by Manthony G at 1:26 PM 0 comments
Labels: Dedication
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Love Is... (Part 11 - The Fight)
Darryl was fuming mad at this point of time staring at Kenny and not saying a single word. Kenny on the other hand notices that he must have done something wrong… He never sees Darryl looking like that before… But to avoid any sudden blast of anger, Kenny remained silent throughout the trip back to hotel…
Kenny asked the moment they were in the room…
Kenny: “You ok?” Darryl was still fuming mad and he refused to reply.
Kenny: “You ok? Please talk to me… What is wrong? Please tell me… Dear”
Darryl: “Don’t call me dear!! What is wrong with you! Why do you go and make appointment with Mon just like that…?”
Kenny: I thought it sounded fun…”
Darryl: “Did you think of me? Did you think of the trouble I have to go through just to get him off my back…? Hey I am here for fun not here to try to get myself out of trouble…”
Kenny: “But he did nothing what…”
Darryl: “NOTHING!!! Do you know that he keep using his leg to touch me? Did you know that when I want to go toilet, he follow me and even try to kiss me… How can you like that…”
Kenny: “But you didn’t tell me…”
Darryl: “How to tell you? He was with us all the way since the ordering of food… I never even get a chance to tell you and you already ignore me and go make appointment with him already…” Tears was falling from the corner of Darryl’s eyes…
Kenny: “I’m sorry…I know you look weird after the toilet break but I really didn’t know…”
Darryl: “Sorry… You are supposed to be my freaking boyfriend tonight as you claimed but the moment you hear fun only, you totally forget about it… You never even discuss whether I am ok with the idea or not and you just go ahead to give him our hotel address and room number… Can you imagine how I am feeling now? Can you?”
Kenny: “Dear… “
Darryl: “Don’t call me that… I'm not your dear in the first place... You only think for yourself… Everything is about you only… You want to go apologize, we go… Then you just ask him to go supper… You think this is fun right… Then you go have your fun with him and just leave me alone…”
Kenny: “I’m sorry… Please forgive me… I will call him to cancel…”
Darryl: “You don’t even have your number… How to call him? You are just so engrossed with the word FUN and just go ahead and arrange everything... Go and do what you want… Just leave me alone…”
Kenny: “I’m really sorry… Please don’t treat me this way… Please”
At this point, Kenny was really helpless… He felt bad for everything but yet he really do not know how to undo it… It was a sleepless night for both of them…
It was 2pm in the afternoon when the doorbell rang… Kenny knows that it was Mon standing at the doorstep but yet he do not want to open the door…
Darryl: “Go open the door…”
Kenny: “No… We just let him assume that we are still in bed and forget about the timing… or just let him think that we already out…”
Darryl without saying a word, he stood up and approaches the door… Kenny on the other hand grab him and pull him back…
Kenny: “I don’t want you to go through this…”
Darryl: “I’m fine… Don’t worry…”
Kenny: “No, it not… it was the 1st time I see you behaving like this so it must have really affected you…”
Darryl: “I’m really ok… Just be a good boyfriend today and ensure he stay away from me… ok… let the show begin…”
Kenny: “But…”
Darryl: “It all started from you nodding your head… So let just continue this show, ok? Forget about everything that happens… I’m sorry to have shouted at you last night…”
Kenny: “No… I’m sorry… Let me make it up to you…”
Darryl: “See how ba… Just keep him away from me today can liao…”
Kenny: “I will…”
Darryl: “So ready for the show…”
Kenny: “Bring it on…”
Darryl go ahead and open the door… Mon was standing there…
Darryl: “Sorry to keep you waiting… Was in the shower…”
Kenny: “Ya sorry… were taking shower together…”
Darryl: “Dear, no need to give details…”
Kenny: “Hehehe…”
They headed out and went to place after place after place…But seriously most of the places, Robin have already brought them there… So to both Kenny and Darryl nothing really interesting… It was a boring day for both of them though…
Kenny: “Dear, you ok…”
Darryl: “Yes but bored lor…”
Kenny: “Maybe we called off earlier… I just say I not feeling good…”
Darryl: “Good idea…”
Kenny: “Mon, I really not feeling very well… Guess maybe not enough sleep…”
Mon: “Hmmm… Maybe we send you back to hotel and rest first then I bring Darryl go buy dinner for you…”
Kenny: “No… I need him around… Maybe we call it a day today… I just need to go back to hotel to rest only…”
Mon: “So you want to have any dinner…”
Kenny: “Nope… We will just order room service later…Anyway thanks for the hospitality today…”
Darryl: “Thanks Mon… Maybe next time we come again, will meet up with you…”
Mon: “Welcome… Let me send you back to Hotel then…”
Kenny: “It ok lar… Guess we can manage… Dear, can you flag a cab please… “
Darryl: “OK… Bye Mon…”
Mon: “Bye…”
Both of them let out a sigh of relief the moment they got onto the cab…
To be continue…
Posted by Manthony G at 4:38 PM 0 comments
Labels: Love Is...