S.A.D

A sudden sadness mull me since yesterday… I never thought it still hurting me so much… The whole of yesterday I was sad and feel like crying… But I manage to stay strong… I manage to control my sadness and pass through my working hours and gym without any tears… But my heart is tearing bad…

I am tired of pretending the strong person that people perceive me to be…
I am tired of pretending the person I am not…
I am tired of pretending everything around me is ok…
I am tired of pretending that I am happy…
I am just plain tired…

I just want to cry… I just want to let my tears flow…

The moment I reached home, my tears just flow uncontrollably... But while I am crying, I still trying to hide it while chatting with my friends on msn.. All the hahaha, all lolz etc... but none of them know that i am actually crying while all the hahaha and lolz come out...

The reason for the tears… On 1st Dec 08, I have dedicated a blog entry to a dear friend of mine who was taken away from me due to AIDs… and today 11 Dec 08, is his 4th anniversary…

To be frank, I was taken aback by the pain and sadness that I still going through especially near this day…

Why am I still feeling sad? Why am I still crying even after 4 years? Why have I not got over the fact that he has already left…? Why????? Why????? Why?????

The song you hear in the background is by his favourite artist and this is his favourite song of all times… Hope you guy enjoy it as well…